What to Say: Talking to your Children about the “Birds and the Bees”

Today I am thrilled to partner with Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson of the The Birds and the Bees to give you pointers on how to talk to your children about…sex. Now before you brush this post off thinking your children are too young to broach this subject, think again! Starting these conversations happens “sooner that you think” and I am sharing why in today’s post.

Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson

I first heard about The Birds and the Bees’ “modern” way to talk to your children about sex four or so years ago when Mary Flo Ridley, of the Birds and Bees, spoke to a group of young moms at my church.

Now Mary Flo is a household name in many Dallas (and Texas) circles. I had heard bits and pieces from friends about this way of talking to your children about sex and, honestly, I was a bit skeptical. I was raised in a very traditional home where we didn’t talk openly about things like this, yet alone use actual medical terms to describe body parts. (More on that in a sec!).

But I listened with open ears and an open mind and when my husband came home from work that night I spouted out all the wonderful and sensible things I had learned that day. Ever since, the strategies I learned that day have had an enormous impact on how we talk with our girls about babies, reproduction, and more.

Here are a few highlights of the Birds and the Bees philosophy: 

  • Instead of having one forced “talk” in which you hash out all the nitty gritty details and leave children shocked and confused, talking about sex with your children should be like planting seeds and watering them over time. A little bit at a time, as their minds and ears are ready to hear. (On that note: planting seeds a great visual when teaching “the birds and the bees!”).

  • You need to start addressing this with your children “sooner than you think.” If you watch the videos, Mary Flo shares an eye-opening story of why this is the case. (Seriously eye-opening!!)
  • Starting at a young age it’s important to use actual medical terms for body parts instead of silly nicknames. Not only to teach children respect for these areas, but also as a way to protect them from sexual abuse.
  • We want children to think, “mom and dad have all the answers and I can ask them anything.” If we brush off their uncomfortable questions, they may eventually seek answers elsewhere and we lose the opportunity to instill our convictions about the matter.

Mary Flo and Megan travel around the country speaking about this topic, but they wanted to reach even more young parents. So they have created a wonderful video series on their website in which they go into detail about the above and more and give specific strategies and words. For example, how to answer the dreaded “How did that baby get into that lady’s tummy?” question.

All six videos are short, so won’t take up a lot of your time, but still equip you to teach your pre-schoolers and elementary-aged children about these important things.

To watch the videos, sign up for an annual membership ($25). You will have access to watch the videos anytime. You can listen to them while you go on a walk or wait in the carpool line. And you can even watch the video series with your husband so you can both get on the same page about this issue, whatever that page may be. Each video comes with a helpful discussion guide that you can easily pull up on your phone to help you along the way.

I will be hosting a Facebook Live session with Mary Flo and Megan Friday, March 24th at 9:30 am where they will answer any questions you have about this topic. Subscribe to DoSayGive’s email list to get the reminder!

If you’ve seen Mary Flo or Megan speak in person and wanted to share their rich message with friends, this is a great way to now do so! Forward along this post via email or share this post on Facebook (link below). And please share if there “talk” has impacted the way you deal with the “birds and the bees” at home.

Thank you to The Birds and The Bees for sponsoring this post!

Photos: The Birds and The Bees

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6 thoughts on “What to Say: Talking to your Children about the “Birds and the Bees”

  1. Mary Flo was instrumental in re-shaping how my husband & I addressed this topic with our girls. Her lectures & DVDs are filled with easy examples we could do as a family to take out the shock factor related to all things regarding s-e-x. When I first heard Mary Flo, I had a three year old girl and thought I wouldn’t relate bc my child was so young. Boy, was I wrong!! Now that my oldest is almost 11, I’ve heard Mary Flo half a dozen times, and each time I gain another insight or new approach. I’m so thankful we laid the groundwork early to have good communication about this subject. I highly encourage mothers & fathers of toddlers as well as elem/middle school age to hear Mary Flo or Megan! They are a treasure and wise beyond measure!! I will be forever grateful!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this Alexine! I know this will be so helpful for other moms to read. And I totally agree -these strategies have had a huge impact on our family.

  2. Love hearing this, Alexine! Thanks for your support and encouragement! We love encouraging parents through this daunting topic. So happy our strategy was helpful to your family 💛

  3. So excited to see this post. I heard Mary Flo a year ago in Austin, and my husband and I loved her talk. With three young daughters, we appreciated her faith-based approach. We just joined the B&B website and watched the videos together…. Encouraging other friends to do so as well so we can be on the same page and support and encourage one another!

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